Meanwhile, in France...

It looks like "Breakin 3" might finally be on the way, but we're going to have to watch it with subtitles – it is taking place in France. According to this story an "urban dance phenomenon has taken hold in Paris". It is a brand of break dancing with its own Frenchy name: "Tecktonik".

Here are the high points from the story:

• Tecktonik, a mix of hip-hop and techno dance, was the talk of this years Paris Techno Parade, the annual dance music street carnival that took place in the French capital last Saturday. Another Paris Techno Parade come and gone and I missed it. I feel so out of the loop now.
• Groups of teenagers were overheard chanting "Tecktonik" as dance-offs took place in the street and the evening news bulletins were full of images and testimony from the leaders of this latest craze.
• "I started to practice at home by looking on the Internet," said Jackie, a 20-year-old regular at the Metropolis who works with young people in a northern suburb of Paris. "It's a real pleasure to dance the whole day," including on the street, he adds.

Chanting mobs, dance-offs in the streets, and now this sketchy Jackie character and his surly attitude. I don’t like any of it. But then there’s this:

• "Dancing has changed me," says Sofian, a 15-year-old from a tough Paris suburb who discovered Tecktonik recently. Before I was on the street. I was at the police station everyday. It's been two or three months now since I did anything stupid."

Two or three months without doing something stupid is pretty good. By the way, below is a youtube clip demonstrating Tecktonik by the iconic Jey-Jey. Start studying it now so that you're ready in time for the weekend. When you're at the club and this song comes on, you will know exactly what moves to do.

Brees charged in hamster gambling ring

New Orleans Saint Drew Brees is the latest NFL QB nabbed by the Feds.
The FBI charged Brees with masterminding a ruthless rodent racing operation in which his friends gambled on specially-trained hamsters.
Agents who raided Brees' estate discovered a breeding operation in his laundry room. There, hamsters were fed diets high in protein and were encouraged to run on spinning wheels, then forced to race on little bitty racetracks as spectators bet on the outcome.
Hamsters unable to run fast enough for Brees' pari-mutuel needs were routinely set free in the front yard, where they were typically caught within minutes by a roaming neighborhood cat named Buzzy.
"This Brees character is one cold-hearted bastard," says FBI spokesman Mick M. House. "He bred these hamsters for his entertainment, pure and simple. He didn't care about how cute and cuddly they are, or how sweet they look when they wiggle their little noses."

The above is not my work but came from a publication called 225 out of Baton Rouge. Yes, it is cheap but I'm slowly getting warmed up to this new fangled "blogging."

That's Outrageous!

Nincompoop Doesn't Know How to Park: For most residents at Park Grossmont Estates in La Mesa, parking is simple and easy. There are always exceptions though. In this case, the owner of a late-model, black Ford Explorer just doesn't get it. There are two (2) prime parking spaces on the left side of the Bari Ct cul-de-sac. This nit-wit is occupying both of them.

Each unit at the Park Grossmont complex gets one reserved parking spot, and it is a difficult situation for every household in possession of multiple vehicles. The cul-de-sac spots are important because they are almost as close to the building as the reserved spots, and therefore the first choice for street parking. It becomes urgently necessary, out of consideration for the neighbors, to make the most efficient use of the cul-de-sac spaces possible. The grey Honda Civic pictured at bottom (to the left of the happy face) provides a fine example of the correct parking method.

Well, we've only got five (5) good cul-de-sac spots to use, and this yahoo is using two (2) of them.

Everyone makes mistakes, and it is understandable how the driver might have somehow misjudged the parking distance while in a hurry. Maybe it was night-time, and he/she (who are we kidding; we all know it's got to be a 'she') is uncomfortable without a parking spotter. There is more to this story however, and it gets worse. That Explorer has been parked there for weeks now. Cobwebs are growing off the bumper.

Happily, justice appears to be on the way. Some type of document has been placed beneath the wiper blade. It is most likely a parking ticket. Hopefully the ticket carries a penalty demanding that the Explorer be impounded and sent to a recycling facility where it can be turned into toilet paper, with which we can all do as we deem fit.

On the bright side, all of this has presented to me an occasion to pay tribute to my favorite Reader's Digest regular feature, "That's Outrageous!". I have always been fond of the whole concept behind "That's Outrageous!", and I like to think that it has been instrumental in my formation as a writer and a person, which is a huge compliment as you can see. It looks like this blog is going to be a great venue for my own personal version of "That's Outrageous!".

A Season to Remember About: Installment III

MARAUDERS FALL TO 1-5 IN BACK-AND-FORTH BATTLE

SAN DIEGO, CA (turns out all of the games are in San Diego; team doesn't travel apparently): It was an emotional game of ups and downs, but the result was a famliar one for the Marauders: disappointing defeat. The final score of 42-103 doesn't really tell the whole story, as the Marauders kept it close for most of the first 5 minutes. Right about at the five minute mark SD JAMMIN's fifth player arrived and the Marauders started to lose control of the game.

The Marauder's made an impressive first strike by disqualifying two of SD JAMMIN's players just before tip-off (one of them was WAY over 6'2" and the other was about 15 years old). This shrewd maneuver brought SD JAMMIN's roster down to just four players, and helped the Marauders stay in the game early, playing five against four.

League-leading scorer "Roman" finally arrived about 4 minutes into the game, hurriedly put his shoes on amidst urgent cries from SD JAMMIN, and then proceeded to escort his team to a commanding 20 point half-time lead.

To their credit, SD JAMMIN had their heart in the game till the final buzzer sounded, and never lost focus. It is a rare spectacle nowadays to see rec-league teams run such effective full-court presses. Especially when they are carrying 30+ point leads, as SD JAMMIN did. Some in attendance speculate that SD JAMMIN turned up the intensity late in the first half. At that point, trailing by 20, Marauders leading scorer Phil performed a perfectly executed, AND1-style klowning against aforementioned SD JAMMIN star Roman. Phil accomplished this by scooping the ball past Roman's right shoulder, and then running around his left to retrieve the ball on the other side. While a crowd pleaser at the time, one can imagine that this was a hurtful and emotionally difficult event for Roman. It is easy to see how a team such as SD JAMMIN might be able to use something like this for motivation. Or perhaps they are just classy competitors who believe they are doing themselves and their opponents a disservice by not giving it all they've got for 40 full minutes regardless of the score.

Whatever the reason, the Marauders' win-streak has been broken, and many are again looking for a winning solution. Following the game, power-forward Victor suggested that the Marauders should hold practices. Please see my response below:

LaGeorge

My apologies for the lack of content on the blog. I have been busy all summer doing research for my novel. My novel is going to be an autobiographical sort of thing about this guy who moves to California and plays basketball and drinks a lot. There will be some embellishing, though. For instance, in the novel the guy will be able to dunk - and not just normal dunks. We're talking reverse, two-handed, backboard shattering jams. It should be a pretty good book, hopefully available in time for Christmas. Some Christmas, but not this Christmas.

In the meantime, I'll let ESPN's Bill Simmons, aka "The Sports Guy", provide the blog material. Please enjoy this from his NFL preview today:

"Random note: The recent trend of successful athletes with conventional first names that start with "La" -- like LaMarcus Aldridge and LaRon Landry -- has me more excited than ever to name my first son "LaBill Simmons." My wife is less excited."

Helpful decorating tips

One of the best things about air travel is the "SkyMall" catalog. Located in the seat pocket in front of you, this catalog always presents a fascinating collection of products. A hot new item that they are offering these days is the Hardwood Hideaway. "Solid hardwood dog kennel doubles as a sophisticated end table!" The Hardwood Hideaway, pictured right, will add "style and class to your home", explains SkyMall. In case you were wondering, the Hardwood Hideaway does function as a nightstand as well.

If you plan to buy the Hardwood Hideaway, then you are going to need a few cans of Poop Freeze, also available from SkyMall. This item may be found by going to www.skymall.com and searching the site for the term "poop". Here is the product description:

"Poop Freeze is an easy, earth-friendly way to do your 'dooty' and clean up after your dog. It chills animal waste to -62°F, creating an outer 'crust' that enables you to quickly place in a bag and dispose. Makes picking up loose stool and diarrhea easier. Effective for all kinds of pets, including dogs, cats, birds, etc. Indoor or outdoor use. Safe for humans and pets when used as directed."

It is safe for humans and pets! Who needs indoor plumbing then, right? Thanks to SkyMall, you can lock your golden retriever inside the nightstand, and then poop on the carpet, all the while adding sophistication and class to your home.

A Season to Remember About: Installment II

Disappointment: PB Ballers 75ish - Marauders 50 or so

San Diego, CA: The third time was not a charm for the Marauders, as the losses just keep on coming in the BOSS 6'2" and Under Men's Basketball league. The PB Ballers easily overcame a variety of zone defenses, and the Marauders could not keep up with prolific scorer Jeff Pucci. As matter of fact, the Marauders are still not sure exactly which one of the PB Ballers was actually Jeff Pucci. Says utility reserve guard shipping + receiving manager Gary "Last week they had this short guy with a crew-cut, and I figured that guy had to be Pucci, but he's not here this week".

While the point total improves on their last game's paltry 26, Maruaders fans shouldn't put too much hope in that statistic. As power forward/assistant coach Luis puts it "In the second half they were just (putting forth less than a full, sincere effort) around with us".

There could be a long list of reasons for why the Marauders are struggling to win games: inexperience, lack of chemistry, uniforms identical to opponents', Caucasian grandparents at guard spots matched against college kids from a certain ethnic background considered to have a genetic athletic advantage - all of these factors have been adding up to lop-sided defeat. As the Marauder's beat writer, my conclusion is that the biggest concern is mismanagement of talent. Certain players best suited for particular tasks are not performing those tasks enough, and instead other players not as well suited are performing those tasks more. For example, I am a good scorer. The rest of the team is not good at scoring. The solution is that I should stop passing the ball to the less capable teammates, and try to shoot more. Furthermore, I have proven to be the only Marauder who, on a consistent basis, is capable of dribbling the ball across the court in the presence of defenders and then passing to an open teammate. The intelligent thing for the Marauder's to do is to designate all ball-handling activities to me.

These changes ought to be made for the Marauders from the top. Under the current system, the coaching staff consists loosely of two guys named "Luis". The best case scenario would be an official coaching switch, wherein I take the place of both Luises. It may be difficult to explain the benefits of this to the Luises and the rest of the team though (I don't think they read the blog), so the next best alternative is for me to implement the changes from the floor without "running it by" the team first per se.

Marauder's fans might have reason to look forward to Monday night's showdown with Kappa Alpha. The changes should go well, and if nothing else, will lead to an interesting blog entry next week.