Tampa Bay Rays Update!

Following a shrewd team-name adjustment during the off-season, the franchise formerly known as the Tampa Bay Devil Rays is enjoying a successful 2008 campaign. The "Rays" and their radiating beacon of victory are still holding onto first place in the hotly contested AL East, even late in the season as this post is being written.

On Wednesday night, the excitement continued to build throughout a six run rally in the ninth inning against the Cleveland Indians. Here is the general press release that has been in circulation about that game. Of particular interest is the fourth-paragraph quotation from Carlos Pena, who slugged a three run dinger to win it:

"That's something that we definitely think about it and envision," Pena said. "We actually see it in reality at the same time. It's very important for us that we also put it in perspective. We know it's great, we're enjoy it, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. We never lose focus in the fact, 'Hey, let's play the game today.' It's most important for us."

It isn't clear to what he is responding ("Mr. Pena, can you elaborate on how the Tampa Bay Rays are like the Puppy that Lost Its Way?), but his response seems pretty deep, and it prompts the following thought: You know who might be a great girl for Carlos Pena? Miss Teen South Carolina. They could talk about maps together:

South Carolina: You know Carlos, some people out there in our nation don't have maps and uh, I believe that our, ah, education like such as in South Africa...

Carlos: Snookie-pie, that's something that we definitely think about it and envision... we actually see it in reality at the same time!

South Carolina: Yes, but as I was saying, I believe that they should, uh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., or should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for our children, don't you think?

Carlos: Whoa baby, we just met! Our children? We know its great. We're enjoy it... but let's not get ahead of ourselves! Look, we never lose focus in the fact, 'Hey, let's play the game today.' It's most important for us! But it's very important for us that we also put it in perspective.

Anyway, things look good for the Rays, and if nothing else, all of this is hurting the Yankees and the Red Sox.

Tampa Bay

Those who follow baseball may have noticed something different about the Tampa Bay organization this season: The "Devil Rays", no longer satisfied with mediocrity, have officially shortened the name of their franchise to just "Rays". Words like "deck chairs" and "Titanic" come to mind, but some people are pretty excited about the change, at least according to a story on the team's website. Reportedly, the name was announced during a big ceremony, attended by thousands, in St. Petersburg. Kevin Costner was there with his band and everything. "We are now the 'Rays' - a beacon that radiates throughout Tampa Bay and across the entire state of Florida," said Stuart Sternberg, the team's principal owner."

This is where there comes to be some cause for concern. When I first heard the name Rays, I was thinking they still had some sort of fish as their mascot. It seems unclear exactly what Mr. Steinberg is now referring to when he mentions this "beacon that radiates". From what is known about the Rays organization, it is a troubling development. The Rays shouldn't be allowed to have a radiating beacon. The Governor should do everything he can to stop the radiation from contaminating his entire state, and pursue national relief particularly for the Tampa Bay region.

The Devil Rays placed last in their division in each of the past three seasons, and so with the new name, the Rays are now just two letters away from being exactly like the Royals. Maybe someone is trying to secretly clone the Royals. If, in the near future, there is some announcement about how Tampa Bay is going to be called the O'Rays, we will know.