Fainting Goats!

Big Weekend in Sports

This weekend is shaping up to be one of the biggest sports weekends of 2007: The Cavs and Spurs will be playing in the NBA Finals at San Antonio, but not to be overlooked Chad Johnson and a horse are racing each other on Saturday in Cincinnati. In a series that promises to be physically demanding, I believe that one obvious advantage for the Cavs is their youth . For instance, LeBron is 22 and Boobie is 21; whereas for San Antonio, Tim Duncan is 31, Manu Ginobili is 29 and Eva Longoria is 32.


The horse/Chad matchup is more complicated though, and requires some in depth analysis:

Chad Johnson Vs. Horse

Experience: Jockey Patti Cooksey (real name), has already experienced victory riding against a Bengal receiver. There is no record however, of Chad Johnson ever racing a horse and as Johnson's teammate Carson Palmer put it "I don't think he really understands how fast horses are".
Experience advantage - Horse.

Momentum: Race horses in their prime don't usually go around challenging people to foot-races. This horse must be nearing the end of his career, and trying to cash out. He probably sees the writing on the wall and is going to try to parlay the notoriety from this race into an appearance on reality TV - think "Dancing with the Stars". Chad Johnson, on the other hand, I believe is truly in this for the kids. He doesn't need fame - his career is fine, and he just keeps getting better and better at football. At times, one would almost think that he can't be stopped. Chad even sells a book about this. It is called "Chad: I can't be stopped"

Momentum advantage - Chad.

Intimidation factor: A horse can be pretty intimidating. As TJ Houshmandzadeh says, "If he (Johnson) turns around and sees the horse getting close, he'll get discouraged and probably slow down." Who wouldn't get discouraged in that situation? But flip this around and imagine if the horse were to catch sight of Chad Johnson. Horses can be spooked when they see something out of the norm. I just can't rule out the possibility that Chad Johnson will spook that horse. If the horse pitches her off, Patti Cooksey won't be able to hold the lead for very long on foot.

Intimidation factor - slight advantage: Chad

Winner: Chad. Chad Johnson is going to surprise everyone and beat this horse. With the series split 1-1, this may spark off a great sports rivalry between Cincinnati and horses. Says Johnson "Some of the things I'm going to be doing this year are crazy, and racing a horse is one of them". Here is a man that says exactly what he means. I know who I'll be rooting for this weekend.

A Slacker Indeed

Okay, I confess to being a complete slacker when it comes to this blog. While I don't mean to justify the prolonged inactivity, I can only offer the reasons for it.

Reading. Most of my life I have wasted free hours with excessive TV, video games, "hanging out", etc. I never really wanted to learn until I was eighteen. Even in college I did the least amount of work required to get by. After graduating, I finally mustered the motivation to do some serious reading, and for the last four years I've been trying to make up for lost time.

So instead of spewing out the nonsense of an unread simpleton, with the potential of others actually being subjected to it, I figured why not feed my brain a little, so that one day I can blog real good-like.

Nevertheless, I will try to make an effort to post more often, no matter how intellectually damaging it may be. No guarantees though.

Product Review: Caramel Waffle Crisp Blizzard Treat

There can be no serious discussion of the all-time greatest ice cream treats without Dairy Queen coming up again and again. Over the years, DQ has become an important name amongst all the respected dessert enthusiasts. So when George McFly’s Left Hook needed a review article for DQ’s “Blizzard of the Month”, I was quick to volunteer.

My test Blizzard came in the Medium package: DQ also offers a Small, and a Large. All three models come equipped standard with a spoon, lid (optional), and plastic bag for portability (also optional). I declined the available upgrade to additional toppings for $.50 each. As tested, the Dairy Queen Caramel Waffle Crisp Blizzard Treat (DQCWCBT) came in at $3.29, priced competitively with the McDonald’s McFlurry.

The executives at Dairy Queen seem to have high expectations for the DQCWCBT, perhaps hoping that it will become one of their biggest successes during 2007, and they are using plenty of resources to market it. In addition to awarding it “Blizzard of the Month” status, Dairy Queen has launched an aggressive TV, radio and internet advertising campaign featuring 'Waffle Cone' and 'Soft Serve' portrayed as a young couple passionately in love. “Waffles and Soft Serve. They were made for each other” is the tagline. Turns out that Waffles and SoftServe even have a MySpace page. Please take my advice and don't follow the link. I find the whole concept behind this marketing campaign repulsive, and that's all I have to say about it.

Enough background: onto the test. I thought that the Blizzard itself was excellent, at times showing brilliant flashes of the legendary M&M Blizzard. It has a 'faux gentility,' in that it seems to be precocious and almost ready to eat at first. But further aeration in a wide tulip glass reveals a core of minerality and a perfect balance of chocolate and caramel. It is very elegant, complexly flavored, with absolutely no rough edges and a wonderful texture. A great match with caviar, seafood, and delicate fish entrées. DQ has always perfected an almost even blend of candy and soft serve, but this time they have outdone themselves.

Ok, that is actually a modified wine review from another website, but I think it still describes the Blizzard pretty well. Dairy Queen has produced a fine new Blizzard that should be successful in the premium midsize dessert market alongside the Orangesickle Shake by Jack in the Box, as well as the Cookie Fudge Fantasy from Eat ’n Park.

SUMMARY

Positives: Large servings; free spoon - standard; great in a tulip glass with delicate fish.

Drawbacks: Very long name (Dairy Queen Caramel Waffle Crisp Blizzard Treat); commercials make Blizzard difficult to enjoy; precocious

Overall rating: **

Regarding Daniel Gibson, and also regarding Darin's being a slacker

In NBA news, LeBron James and the Cavaliers have gotten some help in the playoffs from an unexpected source: Rookie point guard Daniel "Boobie" Gibson, who is providing a long needed offensive spark to aid LeBron and the otherwise defensive minded Cleveland ball club. Yes, that's right: people call the man Boobie Gibson. You can even find it on Wiki. His mother started calling him that at an early age, and it stuck.

See Darin, this is what will happen every time you decide to step away from this blog for too long. Sure, I can keep it respectable on my own for a little while, but you can see the downward spiral. Since your enlightening post that discussed the legitimacy of the Prime Minister's rumored conversion, we have plummeted down to my most recent police dog post - which may appear to bear some social/political significance, but at heart is nothing more than an excuse for me to show a funny picture of a dog - and now you're reading these words: "Boobie Gibson". I heard about an athlete who has a weird nickname, The End. That's all I've got for our readers this week. Look Darin, if you've got better things to do, good for you, but I just want to make sure that you're aware of the consequences.

By the way, for those of you still mourning the dead dogs, perhaps this follow-up article will bring some closure. Sounds like the ceremony went pretty well. I admire the police chaplain who reportedly managed to read each dog's name aloud "solemnly and with great reverence". I tried it a couple times here at home myself, and I couldn't get past the first one, "Carebear", without at least smirking. In conclusion, I guess this merits another humorous picture of a police dog. Enjoy.

Faithful departed

Thanks to alert reader Reggie for forwarding this story. Apparently, there is going to be a memorial service on Tuesday for some deceased police dogs. The public has been invited to join in remembering these dogs. I personally will not be attending because it would be difficult to make travel arrangements, and also because I think it is a stupid waste of time to have a dog memorial service.

Super Duty

With the dramatic season finale fresh in our heads, it is time to reflect on the third season of "Lost"; what did we like, what have we learned, what will happen next? For me, one of the most compelling developments of season 3 has been the commercial for the 2008 Ford F-Series Super Duty, in which viewers are shown the "Tail-Gate Step" feature. Just look at it; don't you want one? Don't you wish you were that guy? Safety, comfort and style!

I'd imagine that this is causing all kinds of headaches for the engineers and marketers at Chevy, as they scramble for an answer to Ford's innovation. Perhaps they will manage to include a water bottle that stows neatly under the license plate, to prevent dehydration when entering the truck bed area. And a helmet. It just doesn't seem safe to climb all the way up there on that truck without your helmet on, so maybe they can find a way to build a helmet into the bumper.