Tampa Bay

Those who follow baseball may have noticed something different about the Tampa Bay organization this season: The "Devil Rays", no longer satisfied with mediocrity, have officially shortened the name of their franchise to just "Rays". Words like "deck chairs" and "Titanic" come to mind, but some people are pretty excited about the change, at least according to a story on the team's website. Reportedly, the name was announced during a big ceremony, attended by thousands, in St. Petersburg. Kevin Costner was there with his band and everything. "We are now the 'Rays' - a beacon that radiates throughout Tampa Bay and across the entire state of Florida," said Stuart Sternberg, the team's principal owner."

This is where there comes to be some cause for concern. When I first heard the name Rays, I was thinking they still had some sort of fish as their mascot. It seems unclear exactly what Mr. Steinberg is now referring to when he mentions this "beacon that radiates". From what is known about the Rays organization, it is a troubling development. The Rays shouldn't be allowed to have a radiating beacon. The Governor should do everything he can to stop the radiation from contaminating his entire state, and pursue national relief particularly for the Tampa Bay region.

The Devil Rays placed last in their division in each of the past three seasons, and so with the new name, the Rays are now just two letters away from being exactly like the Royals. Maybe someone is trying to secretly clone the Royals. If, in the near future, there is some announcement about how Tampa Bay is going to be called the O'Rays, we will know.