A Season to Remember About: Installment IV

The Marauders suffered crushing defeat at the hands of "Way 2 Real" on Monday night. Their opponent was, in fact, Way 2 Real - as opposed to the Marauders, who are kind of "real" but with more of a healthy moderation. The game itself was for the most part an unremarkable blowout. The most noteworthy development came during a Marauders' timeout, when Victor announced to the team that he had appointed a coach, and we were to do as the coach said.

I personally enjoyed having a coach. There was no discernible improvement in any aspect of the team's performance, but the coach spoke English as a second language, and his vocabulary had some limits, in which great entertainment value was to be found. For instance, coach divided our team into two player categories:

1) Forwards. It is the job of a forward to "get dee boards"
2) Guards. The guards are the players who get to "bounce dee ball, ok?"

During timeouts, he would use this terminology to lay out the game-plan. Coach wanted me to get the boards, but I assured him that I was both able to get the boards, and bounce the ball - much in the manner Magic Johnson was said to have possessed the ability to do. Coach accepted this - in fact, he embraced it and appointed me "point guard". I later learned from coach that it is among the duties of the point guard to "yell" at the other guards "when they bounce dee ball wrong".

From that moment on, I was on the lookout for instances in which the ball was bounced improperly, fully prepared to yell at the perpetrator. To make a long story short though, the Marauders fell on the losing end of a 50-72 final score. For anyone interested in playing "point guard" for the Marauders in their season finale, it will be on Monday, at 6:30. Bring a blue shirt and $3, and just tell them George sent you.