Scrumptulescent

Sources tell us that the term "ginormous" is now recognized officially as a word. Webster's online defines ginormous as "simply huge; extremely large". Note that it can also be used as an adverb, "ginormously". An example of "ginormous" in a sentence would go like, "The bear management specialists captured a very ginormous bear."

In Animal News...

Thanks to alert reader Reggie Cleveland for forwarding a story with the headline "Zoo's Outback train kills kangaroo on tracks". Basically, there is a train running through the "Australian Adventure" area, aka the kangaroo pen, of the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo. Why the zoo's management felt it was prudent to install a railroad in the kangaroo habitat is anyone's guess, but believe it or not, this train has a history of kangaroo collisions. Five of them in fact, the latest resulting in a 'roo fatality.

The story does not end there however, because now PETA wants the zoo fined for the kangaroo death. According to the story "PETA is asking the U.S. Department of Agriculture to levy "harsh penalties" against the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo".

The story continues: "The corpse flower isn't the only thing that stinks at the Cleveland Zoo. How many more animals have to suffer and die before the zoo is forced to clean up its act?" says PETA Director Debbie Leahy. "The zoo had five chances to save another kangaroo from being hurt but did nothing for seven years. The USDA must investigate and assess all appropriate penalties and fines."

In May, a female wolf was killed by other members of her pack. In 2005, three Wallabies died after eating a corpse flower, a toxic plant that was placed in their enclosure by a zoo employee; a Grant's zebra died from a ruptured aorta after being kicked by another zebra; and a gorilla died after he was anesthetized for an examination. In 2003, a lion died after being attacked by another lion.

As a commenter about 8 comments below the article notes: "Those zoo keepers should have seen that zebra planning the attack on the other zebra, it was so obvious."

When this whole kangaroo/train saga first came to my attention, I refrained from publishing it "out of respect" for the kangaroos, you could say. As alert reader Reggie Cleveland points out though, "Once PETA gets involved, anything's fair game". Pun intended.

Please Use Can Openers

The FDA was in the news recently with this release:

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) is warning consumers not to eat 10 ounce cans of Castleberry’s Hot Dog Chili Sauce (UPC 3030000101), Austex Hot Dog Chili Sauce (UPC 3030099533), and Kroger Hot Dog Chili Sauce (UPC 1111083942) with “best by” dates from April 30, 2009 through May 22, 2009 due to possible botulism contamination. Botulism can be fatal. The “best by dates” can be found on the can lids.

It is unclear as to whether it would be safe to eat the Hot Dog Chili Sauce after removing it from the cans. One tends to believe that it will always be hazardous to "eat 10 ounce cans", regardless of the contents. In any case, it might be in everyone's best interest to eat less Hot Dog Chili Sauce, botulism or no botulism.

If You Can't Beat the System... Break It!

MOVIE REVIEW: BREAKIN' 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

You will have to work to find your copy of this week's movie for review. However, "Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo" is worth searching for. I've never actually seen "Breakin' 1", but the important thing is that Lucinda Dickey, Adolfo "Shabba Doo" Quinones and Michael "Boogaloo Shrimp" Chambers were all able to make it back to star in the sequel.

Early on we are introduced (reintroduced?) to two enthusiastic break dancing youths named Ozone and Turbo. Ozone and Turbo love to dance, and they dress just like Michael Jackson does, so of course they are two very cool guys. Much of the plot (there are only about 4 minutes of total plot, so take that for what it is) centers on the relationship between Ozone and leading lady Kelly. Kelly looks like Mary Lou Retton, and is on the fast track to a promising career in theatre. She comes from wealth, and her parents spend most of their time sitting around a pool, as wealthy people love to do, plotting and scheming on how to convince their daughter to spend less time with Ozone and Turbo, whom they hold in low regard.

As if Kelly's pressures at home weren't enough, back in Ozone's neighborhood a developer wants to build a shopping center on the site of a beloved community center where the break dancing community tends to gather. I suppose that it goes without saying that the developer is an evil developer. Everyone knows by now that developers are the scourge of civilization.

Can Kelly, Ozone, and Turbo save the community center? Will Kelly's parents learn to accept her friends? I won't give you the answer - you have to watch for yourselves - but I will tell you that the answer involves a cameo by Ice-T.

Mahatma Culpepper

The Miami Dolphins released quarterback Daunte Culpepper on Monday. The Dolphins owed $51.5 million on his contract, but he demanded to be released. Here is an excerpt from an AP story wherein Daunte discusses the situation:

"As I was going through this process I heard about a quote by Gandhi that best expresses my thoughts about this victory: 'First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win,"' Culpepper, who serves as his own agent, said in an e-mail. "Now that I have won my freedom and I get to choose my next team, I am just like many other people who have to go out and find employment so that I can take care of my family."

Very insightful. Especially the "then they ridicule you" part.

Thank you for your patience

Here at GMLH, we are working to build a better tomorrow for you the reader. In our efforts to serve you better, we have recently acquired cutting-edge blogging hardware that promises to raise overall blog quality in the long-term. The current lag in content will soon pass as we deal with our tech upgrade. Our editors have also been slowed by recent acquisitions of improved variations on Cap'n Morgan's Spiced Rum, which has been known to have detrimental effects on blog production. Our staff has been working to resolve both of these issues (consuming the rum, and integrating the new technology) simultaneously, which as it turned out, was not the best approach. Considerable progress has been made though, so just be patient, maybe re-read the movie review, and check back later.

Movie Review: Live Free or Die Hard

LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD: PERHAPS ONE OF THE BEST "DIE HARD" MOVIES YET!


I attended a showing of Live Free or Die Hard this last Friday night. Of all the Die Hards there have been, this one is by far the most recent. Here are some points of interest about the movie:

• Previews: One movie worth mentioning stars The Rock as a pro-football QB. Following a surprise visit from the young daughter he never knew he had, he needs to adapt his lifestyle to accommodate the kid. Hijinks ensues. There is one particular fact about this preview that struck me as peculiar: Rock's little girl's name is Peyton (I don't know if it's spelled that way but it should be). Will there be a scene where "Peyton" misbehaves and Bill Belichick happens to show up to bend "Peyton" over his knee and administer a spanking? We will have to wait and see, but in a movie about pro football and quarterbacks, "Peyton" is an interesting choice of name for a bratty little girl.

• Commercials: There is a great anti-drug commercial running before the previews in theatres lately. Please follow the link and watch it - I think you will really like it.
  
  
• Villain-to-Hero Drastic Disparity in Marksmanship: A phenomenon commonly found in movies of this genre is present again in Live Free or Die Hard. McClane rolls a fire extinguisher down a hallway and shoots at it to deter some villains with the explosion. He nails a hostile aircraft with a disruptive jet of water by breaking a fire hydrant at just the right moment, and finishes the chopper off later by catapulting his car into it. He even fires a weapon held in someone else's hand, through his own shoulder backward, survives and gets the kill behind him. The villains, for their part, have no luck. At one point, they are firing a heavy-duty machine gun at McClane's stationary car from about 15 feet away. McClane survives by ducking. "Duck", he instructs his sidekick, who takes heed and survives.
  
  
• Prolonged Scene Depicting Bruce Willis Beating Up a Woman 1/2 His Size: What the villains lack in accuracy, they make up with resiliency. There is a long scene in the movie where McClane fights a small woman in fierce, furniture-throwing, glass-breaking, bar-room-brawl, Ultimate-Backyard-Fighting-style combat. It seems absurd already to see Bruce Willis throw a brutal array of haymakers at a Lucy Liu-sized woman, but then the movie forces us to accept that she is able to sustain this attack and keep fighting for something like 10 minutes. She just keeps getting up and coming back for more - even after McClane assaults her with an SUV. I'm not sure what to think about the whole thing.
  
  
  Also worth mentioning, the personification of a Macintosh computer co-stars with Bruce Willis in this movie. I don't care for the guy's work. Never have. His characters annoy me. I've always used PC's and have no real complaints. So, going in I was afraid that he would drag this movie down, but he doesn't. He was a nice fit for his role in Live Free or Die Hard. Unlike the Mac commercials, the movie never condoned his annoying little attitude, rather his whole personality seemed meant to contrast and accentuate Bruce Willis' tough guy shtick. Much to my disappointment though, the PC never makes an appearance.

Live Free or Die Hard will probably insult your intellect: The action sequences are impossible, the villain is a ridiculously evil jerk, the script is just silly, and all law enforcement other than John McClane is slow and/or incompetent. But we should expect these things in a mindless action movie, and appreciated as such, Live Free or Die Hard is worth watching. If you're bored.

** 1/2